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An Angel That Suffered
When I was little one of the people who stood out most in my life was my Aunt Susan (my Aunt Sue Sue). She was my dad's sister and all time best aunt. She was such a sweetheart and everyone loved her. She was the type of person everyone loved and loved to be around. My cousin Rodney and I thought Aunt Sue Sue was an angel from the very beginning of our lives. We looked to her as more of a mom than an aunt. She was told, like me, that she would never have kids of her own so naturally her niece and nephew were the next best thing. We were very spoiled little brats. We got out of so much trouble because of Aunt Sue Sue.
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She was the type of person who if you were sick brought you soup, if something happened in your life she would rejoice with you or give you a shoulder to cry. She loved everyone she knew. She never spoke ill of anyone. And at times she was so sick she could barely care for herself. After seeing many doctors, no one could find anything wrong with her even when she insisted there was. After one visit and some tests, she was diagnosed with lupus.
Finally in 1991, she concieved her one and only child, a son, Garrick Landon.
She never once compained of the pain. She would wince and suffer inside herself but not let it show. She took care of everyone, never thinking of herself. Through the years, she grew worse as she fought a silent battle with a disease that was literally tearing her apart from the inside. But not once did you hear her question, why me? She always said she would rather it be her than someone else. Being children, we didn't understand.
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As a teenager, I lived with my mother and didn't see my father's family alot, including Aunt Susan. it was usually two or three times a year, but everytime I saw her I saw how she was slowly losing a battle. Although she stayed strong and amazed people at how much strength she had. But that strength was faith and love she had for Jesus Christ. He was her rock and pulled her through many things we never thought she would live through.
Doctors could never get her medication right. What helped her lupus caused her to gain a lot of weight and caused bloodclots. Her legs and feet swelled very badly
I married young and my father's family knew little of my husband. That first Thanksgiving, began a bit awkwardly with introductions. Being the only female grandchild/daughter/niece everyone saw Tony as taking away everyone's little girl. Everyone shook his hand and said expected words, but even at her excessive weight and obvious pain, Aunt Susan stood up, hugged Tony and told him she loved him. For Aunt Susan, the fact that her little Kacie Jo loved him was enough to make her love him. That same day I called her Aunt Susan for the first time. She flat ignored me until I called her Aunt Sue Sue.
Christmas 2007, she and I had a talk about Seth and Gage. She was the only one who would talk about it. "God will give you a baby in His time, baby. You will have your blessing. I got mine. I just wish I could be here to see it." I thought the last sentence a little strange ... She never spoke of her own death. I was a bit shaken.
She fought an amazing fight for a long, long time. A more beautiful person, I have not known. She was an angel. When Seth and Gage passed, she was very sick and couldn't come in person but she called and sent love and if she sent you love, you surely felt it in your heart. She told me God would take care of me and of course he did.
My dad came to me Wednesday, Feburary 13. and said that my aunt had been taken by helicopter to the same hospital my twin angels were flown to. My heart stopped in my chest. The next day, I went to see her. She was im the critical care unit. Walking into her room, I couldn't stop the tears that came. She was on a ventilator, like my babies, and had tubes and wires and it was achingly familiar. She looked pale and fragile. My uncle's sister who was there said she was staying strong. She was trying to breathe on her own. She would gasp for the breath but the ventilator had to give it to her because she couldn't seem to catch it. Ms. Sandra also said that she had been unresponsive all day.
My mom walked to her bedside and said, "Susan, can you hear me? Kacie is here to see you." She opened her eyes for a brief second. I went to her. In the sunniest voice I could muster I said, "Hi Aunt Sue Sue." Again her eyes opened and I thought for a moment I saw the beginnings of a smile.
Sunday night my uncle said she was doing better. I was happy to hear it. I said a prayer for her and went to sleep. Around two forty five am, Tony woke me. My dad had called and wanted me to call him. "Kacie? I've got some bad news. Aunt Sue Sue didn't make it. Her heart gave out a little while ago. It's hard but we're going to have to band together and get through it. I love you." A part of me died in that phone call.
I didn't sleep until later on that day. The wake was hard. The funeral home was full of people and flowers. It took forever to find a parking space. But walking in and seeing her was hard. My friend Amy came along and held me for a while as I cried for a woman I looked to as a mother more than an aunt. But Lord, she was beautlful. She looked well and lovely and as if she were only sleeping. Garrick told me that the only thing ever discussed about her death was she wanted pink carnations. Looking up at her flower blanket on her casket, I saw the bottom lined with pink roses then a gorgeous display of light pink carnations topped with pink and white lillies with pearls running down either side. She would have loved it.
My dad and aunt were visibly shaking and the tears never seemed to stop. My grandparents were broken people. Their eyes seemed hollow, their faces pail.
The funeral seemed more like a wedding. All the flowers couldn't fit into the church. It was beautiful. Her favorite song "Beaulah Land" was sang by a man who had one of the best voices I've heard although he teared up at times. We said goodbye to Aunt Susan and all went to eat. Everyone was talking of how she'd lost her battle with lupus. I replied, "No. She won the war with lupus because now she has no more illness or suffering. She only has love." It lightened the mood a bit but for the past week, I've been grieving.
She is an inspiration to me. She in herself was strength, compassion, faith, and most of all love.
glitter-graphics.com
Susan Renea Easterling
Oct. 27, 1963 - Feb. 18, 2008
"With everything you do through the Lord in your life, you build your place in Heaven. Can you imagine what a mansion Susan has today?" -Rev. Don Stewart-
glitter-graphics.com
She was the type of person who if you were sick brought you soup, if something happened in your life she would rejoice with you or give you a shoulder to cry. She loved everyone she knew. She never spoke ill of anyone. And at times she was so sick she could barely care for herself. After seeing many doctors, no one could find anything wrong with her even when she insisted there was. After one visit and some tests, she was diagnosed with lupus.
Finally in 1991, she concieved her one and only child, a son, Garrick Landon.
She never once compained of the pain. She would wince and suffer inside herself but not let it show. She took care of everyone, never thinking of herself. Through the years, she grew worse as she fought a silent battle with a disease that was literally tearing her apart from the inside. But not once did you hear her question, why me? She always said she would rather it be her than someone else. Being children, we didn't understand.
glitter-graphics.com
As a teenager, I lived with my mother and didn't see my father's family alot, including Aunt Susan. it was usually two or three times a year, but everytime I saw her I saw how she was slowly losing a battle. Although she stayed strong and amazed people at how much strength she had. But that strength was faith and love she had for Jesus Christ. He was her rock and pulled her through many things we never thought she would live through.
Doctors could never get her medication right. What helped her lupus caused her to gain a lot of weight and caused bloodclots. Her legs and feet swelled very badly
I married young and my father's family knew little of my husband. That first Thanksgiving, began a bit awkwardly with introductions. Being the only female grandchild/daughter/niece everyone saw Tony as taking away everyone's little girl. Everyone shook his hand and said expected words, but even at her excessive weight and obvious pain, Aunt Susan stood up, hugged Tony and told him she loved him. For Aunt Susan, the fact that her little Kacie Jo loved him was enough to make her love him. That same day I called her Aunt Susan for the first time. She flat ignored me until I called her Aunt Sue Sue.
Christmas 2007, she and I had a talk about Seth and Gage. She was the only one who would talk about it. "God will give you a baby in His time, baby. You will have your blessing. I got mine. I just wish I could be here to see it." I thought the last sentence a little strange ... She never spoke of her own death. I was a bit shaken.
She fought an amazing fight for a long, long time. A more beautiful person, I have not known. She was an angel. When Seth and Gage passed, she was very sick and couldn't come in person but she called and sent love and if she sent you love, you surely felt it in your heart. She told me God would take care of me and of course he did.
My dad came to me Wednesday, Feburary 13. and said that my aunt had been taken by helicopter to the same hospital my twin angels were flown to. My heart stopped in my chest. The next day, I went to see her. She was im the critical care unit. Walking into her room, I couldn't stop the tears that came. She was on a ventilator, like my babies, and had tubes and wires and it was achingly familiar. She looked pale and fragile. My uncle's sister who was there said she was staying strong. She was trying to breathe on her own. She would gasp for the breath but the ventilator had to give it to her because she couldn't seem to catch it. Ms. Sandra also said that she had been unresponsive all day.
My mom walked to her bedside and said, "Susan, can you hear me? Kacie is here to see you." She opened her eyes for a brief second. I went to her. In the sunniest voice I could muster I said, "Hi Aunt Sue Sue." Again her eyes opened and I thought for a moment I saw the beginnings of a smile.
Sunday night my uncle said she was doing better. I was happy to hear it. I said a prayer for her and went to sleep. Around two forty five am, Tony woke me. My dad had called and wanted me to call him. "Kacie? I've got some bad news. Aunt Sue Sue didn't make it. Her heart gave out a little while ago. It's hard but we're going to have to band together and get through it. I love you." A part of me died in that phone call.
I didn't sleep until later on that day. The wake was hard. The funeral home was full of people and flowers. It took forever to find a parking space. But walking in and seeing her was hard. My friend Amy came along and held me for a while as I cried for a woman I looked to as a mother more than an aunt. But Lord, she was beautlful. She looked well and lovely and as if she were only sleeping. Garrick told me that the only thing ever discussed about her death was she wanted pink carnations. Looking up at her flower blanket on her casket, I saw the bottom lined with pink roses then a gorgeous display of light pink carnations topped with pink and white lillies with pearls running down either side. She would have loved it.
My dad and aunt were visibly shaking and the tears never seemed to stop. My grandparents were broken people. Their eyes seemed hollow, their faces pail.
The funeral seemed more like a wedding. All the flowers couldn't fit into the church. It was beautiful. Her favorite song "Beaulah Land" was sang by a man who had one of the best voices I've heard although he teared up at times. We said goodbye to Aunt Susan and all went to eat. Everyone was talking of how she'd lost her battle with lupus. I replied, "No. She won the war with lupus because now she has no more illness or suffering. She only has love." It lightened the mood a bit but for the past week, I've been grieving.
She is an inspiration to me. She in herself was strength, compassion, faith, and most of all love.
glitter-graphics.com
Susan Renea Easterling
Oct. 27, 1963 - Feb. 18, 2008
"With everything you do through the Lord in your life, you build your place in Heaven. Can you imagine what a mansion Susan has today?" -Rev. Don Stewart-
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